Monday, 28 July 2008

Countdown to Edinburgh 2008

Final preparations are underway for my annual visit to the Edinburgh Festival with my colleagues Butlers Fletcher, Thompson and Newsam. Once again this year I will be offering my General factotum and journeying services to members of the general public whilst in Edinburgh. My colleagues will be specialising in Documenting, Chaperon and hand delivered message services. More details have now been posted onto our Website and of course you can contact us for any further information.

A busy few days ahead only 11 days before I depart for Edinburgh, final travel arrangements are being made, luggage carefully packed, my suits are being dry cleaned, business cards printed and of course ensuring my Sir, Lord Lennox departs safely for his yearly excursion to the Highlands of Scotland.

I am looking forward to meeting some old friends whilst in Edinburgh and no doubt making some new ones along the way. If I can be of service in the meantime please do not hesitate to contact me, details are now on the website,


Butler Hopkins

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Science Butlers

On Saturday 5th July, the Science Butlers made
their debut at Winchester Hat Fair, offering to
demonstrate the scientific processes that are
involved in being of service to our respective
masters and mistresses. Butlers Edgar and Fletcher,
along with new butler Heward, took to the streets
with delicate trolleys loaded up with all manner
of butlerial equipment necessary to accomplish the
'morning routine', serve breakfast and lay the
perfect dining table. Braving a perilous wind, we
astonished passers-by with disappearing wine,
exploding Alka Seltzer, instant ice, spinning eggs
and volcanic milk, and could have continued to
demonstrate to large crowds through the day, if
we hadn't been keen to reflect upon our exploits,
imbibe a little lunchtime libation, and purchase
some most excellent chai from a local emporium.
However, this first experiment in science butlering
was adjudged a resounding success, and served as
a perfect preview to the next and more developed
Science Butlers outing, where Edgar, Fletcher and
Heward shall be joined by butlers Hopkins and
Thompson. In the meantime, we now look ahead to
August and Edinburgh, where we hope to renew our
acquaintance with some familiar faces, and be of
service to new Sirs and Modams.

Fletcher the Butler

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

no subject

Having recovered from the exhaustion, dehydration and sunburn, Butlers Fletcher,Edgar and Hopkins are pleased to report that they had a marvellous time on Whitstable beach last weekend, as guests of The Fete Encounter. Whitstable is a very civilised little community which took the Butlers to their hearts, although there was some confusion at the start, everyone seeming to assume that we were about to disrobe and run into the sea! Unfortunately, we had neglected to pack our striped bathing suits, and so had to disappoint on this score. However, we received some excellent commissions, including the erection of gazebos, manufacture of cuddly toys, hunting of treasure and substantial purchase of thirst-quenching beverages. Most surprising, perhaps, was a request to hold the towels of a group of young ladies who took it upon themselves to bathe 'au naturel'. It is at times like these that a conscientious and discreet Butler service can prove most useful and efficacious, bringing a decorous tone to proceedings, as well as holding at bay the over-eager paparazzi! Naturally, a selection of teas and tisanes
were imbibed at four, and the day was rounded off with a rather excellent plate of Whitstable Bay sausages and mash in a local hostelry, although Edgar insisted on a meat-free alternative. There was even time to view some Kentish oasthouses in the fading evening light. All in all, then, a most satisfying day, during which the Butlers were pleased to be of service. Their thanks go to a certain Ms. Walke, whose efforts (and Vettriano-like assistance) made the whole excursion possible. Every effort is now under way to prepare for the first outing of the Science Butlers at Winchester's Hat Fair this coming Saturday, demonstrating the extent to which we have to resort to science in order to service the needs of our various masters and mistresses.

Fletcher the Butler